'You don't allow people to get close to you even though you f***ing really want people to be close to you...'

'You don't allow people to get close to you even though you f***ing really want people to be close to you. And when I hear people saying... saying, ‘ I f***ing hate people.’ , I say to myself no, no, no. You love people so much it f***ing hurts you. That's the truth behind it.
Trauma wants us isolated. Wants us alone. The opposite of isolation is solitude. We have to stop being isolated but we need solitude. There's a big difference in the two. You have to connect with people. You have to find your tribe.' -Justin Downey

An excerpt from an interview titled: TRAUMA, ADDICTION AND THE GREATEST LIFE CHEAT. Justin shares his personal experiences of prison, rehab and recovery ...the highs and lows. It will take you from the prison cell to the yoga mat.

available in its entirety at

https://www.joannearnold.com/posts/trauma-addiction-and-the-greatest-life-cheat-a-conversation-with-justin-downey

Timely message for me two years later.

Timely message for me two years later.

Memory from April 17th, 2018, with Justin Downey and Margo Walsh at MaineWorks:

What will we build when everything we know has been torn down, when we recognize we cannot just rebuild what has been...because that didn't serve us well. How do we put the bricks back in a different way?

To read an April 2020 interview with Justin Downey, please see https://www.joannearnold.com/posts/have-you-heard-sheltering-in-place-referred-to-as-solitary-might-want-to-read-this and https://www.joannearnold.com/posts/follow-up-to-april-2020-interview-with-justin-downey

Moose Elkins continues to make our world a better place to live in. Thank you, Moose.

Moose Elkins continues to make our world a better place to live in.
Thank you, Moose.

Memory from April 6th 2018

Making His Way. Reaching out for our dreams sounds so friggin' romantic, as if our pursuit for what we want is animated by little cherubs dropping rose petals on a path accompanied by unicorns and dancing kittens. But it is not. It is often sluggishly difficult day by day work marked by desperation that helps build the fraction of momentum, the tiniest traction to avoid being pulled back into the the hole we are so familiar with. Just enough forward motion to show up. Again. And again. I applaud this circle of employees who have made it through the winter. Fought the demons that line that path of an unformed dream for something better. Cheers to the Pioneers of Recovery, searching for the next toehold.

Seeing Russell Leonard, MaineWorks Alum, on the waterfront working yesterday was a sight for sore eyes and a balm to my heart.

Seeing Russell Leonard, MaineWorks Alum, on the waterfront working yesterday was a sight for sore eyes and a balm to my heart. — with Russell Leonard at Fore River Dock & Dredge Inc.

My prayer. A most difficult journey.

My prayer.
A most difficult journey. My heart aches for this family.
From Kendra Vinal.

TODAY
by Kendra Vinal, Organizer
UPDATE
3/14/20 5:30PM
They've brought him back. They got his heartbeat back and are working to raise his blood pressure now. He's still extremely critical and he needs everyone's continuous love and prayers <3
TODAY
by Kendra Vinal, Organizer
UPDATE
3/14/20 5:20PM
HE JUST FLATLINED! They're actively working on him right now. Please, he needs everyone's prayers right now!!!
TODAY
by Kendra Vinal, Organizer
UPDATE
3/14/20 4:30PM
My apologies on the delayed update. I needed to go home to tend to affairs, see my children and gather things for my continued stay with Alden. He went into surgery at about 11:30am and he just got out several minutes ago. They did end up amputating his leg up to the pelvis. It's still open and packed but his bleeding should cease. I asked the orthopedic surgeon if it was possible to use any of the flesh from the severed leg to use as a skin graft. He said "that's a great question. I will follow up on that". So, more to come. He did say that the surgery went well. He was at extreme risk for cardiac arrest but he made it! He's one tough mother trucker! Hopefully this will alleviate the stress on his kidneys so that they can begin functioning again. He's currently getting resettled into the ICU and will need another transfusion. He will go into surgery again tomorrow to flush out the leg wound and ensure that there's nothing else dying. Things are looking up. I'll keep everyone updated. Keep the prayers coming! They're working! ❤

Friday morning at the MaineWorks circle often includes guests from the community.

Friday morning at the MaineWorks circle often includes guests from the community. This morning we were delighted to welcome Andy Lilienthal, from Camp Winnebago where "'Winnebagans' achieve extremely high results and campers understand the value that being supportive of each other makes, while gaining leadership experience, emotional intelligence, physical confidence and skills over the course of the summer."
What did Andy think of the circle? He referred to it as community. And community building is where growth can blossom. Thank you Andy for meeting us all.

What love looks like.

What love looks like. A moment after the proposal. She said YES. Congratulations Ben and Athena.

—with Ben Klebe

So. Two years ago I may not have had an imagination big enough to imagine this moment. Things looked a lot different then.

So. Two years ago I may not have had an imagination big enough to imagine this moment. Things looked a lot different then.
This is Ben Klebe, having just proposed to Athena...and she said yes.
Congratulations Ben and Athena. And cheers to people overcoming daunting odds.
You may recognize Ben as a staff member at MaineWorks.

Every once in a while, in a world filled with its' share of despair and seemingly irreparable brokenness, I am invited to witness the joy.

Every once in a while, in a world filled with its' share of despair and seemingly irreparable brokenness, I am invited to witness the joy.

She said YES.
Congratulations Ben and Athena!

—with Ben Klebe

Sometimes it's remarkable to stand in the light.

Sometimes it's remarkable to stand in the light. To look at the world with eyes wide open. To build a life with the scaffolding of intention and support. Making change. Cheers to the Pioneers of Recovery at MaineWorks. 

MaineWorks provides employment opportunities and second and third and fourth chances.

MaineWorks provides employment opportunities and second and third and fourth chances. What can support in early recovery look like? Employment in an environment where everyone is familiar with the complex and individual journey of recovery, for one.
Support can look like helping to get someone situated in a sober house that works for them; sometimes as simple as getting them some clothes to start out with. Boots to work in. Safety gear. And urgently, a respectful space in a circle of people trying their damnest to make a new life. Welcome.

'If you cannot fly then run, if you cannot run then walk, if you cannot walk then crawl, but whatever you do keep moving forward.' Martin Luther King, Jr.

'If you cannot fly then run, if you cannot run then walk, if you cannot walk then crawl, but whatever you do keep moving forward.'
Martin Luther King, Jr.

This came up In Memories this morning. Dear Bruce Bannon...

This came up In Memories this morning. Dear Bruce Bannon, featured in the photo is no longer with us having died this year. Until we meet again, Bruce.

Posted January 18, 2019 (one year ago):

At MaineWorks you will find a circle that is a repository of peoples' deepest pains, failings and brokenness. Even the fire pit is wobbly and missing a leg. I look at it with great affection because despite this it is working just fine and we huddle around it. ..as if to say 'Hey fire pit, you are rocking it today.'
It is also a circle where you will be seen more deeply. Beyond the transgressions, criminal offense, addiction, behavior born of addiction, pain and trauma. Someone will see that if you show up with your greatest pain the brokenness can also be a breaking open...and the light that begins to shine out of our brokenness will blind us with beauty. Yup. Just another morning at MaineWorks.

6 AM and a little MaineWorks Circle is inside today...

6 AM and a little MaineWorks Circle is inside today protected from the freezing rain and snow....and Margo Walsh has asked this employee to read Derek Walcott's poem LOVE AFTER LOVE. And though MaineWorks is all about work and boots and time cards, MaineWorks is truly about moments like this. And she asks what is it you want to FEEL this new year. Not DO. Or GET. What is it you want to feel?
'I want to feel peace.'
I want to know forgiveness.'
'I want to know who I am.'
'I want to let go of resentments.'
'I want to be less stressed.'
And I am in a little circle of humanity. A circle of humanity looking to become more human. Less stressed by external stuff. More in alignment with who they really are.
I am smitten.

Last Friday this MaineWorks employee nudged me...

Last Friday this MaineWorks employee nudged me and said something like 'Hey, Miss Joanne....sure would like to have those banana muffins on Monday!'
I have been making sandwiches for the guys, something they can stash in their bags for lunch, not so many baked goods lately. I turned to him and said something like 'You're it. I am passing the torch.' I never gave it another thought....until he showed up this morning arriving like this, with a flourish...with ...homemade banana muffins. He glazed them and set them out just like this. All before work. All before making his way into a world that may not recognize that he took up the challenge...and DELIVERED. I am in AWE.

Thank you JOURNEY Magazine, Carolyn Delaney, Brian Delaney and Alison Jones Webb for your recent article.

Thank you JOURNEY Magazine, Carolyn Delaney, Brian Delaney and Alison Jones Webb for your recent article. Thank you for what you all do to support the recovery community and our community at large. Most grateful. — with Justin Downey.

Cecil Solaguren, Director of Human Resources at MaineWorks...

Cecil Solaguren, Director of Human Resources at MaineWorks speaking at the Maine Recovery Fund Donor Appreciation evening at Portland Country Club. Cecil rocked it outta the park with his straightforward style deeply informed from the highs and lows of his recovery journey. Could have heard a pin drop in the room.

Thankful for the people in my life that have changed the course of their lives toward lives worth living...

Thankful for the people in my life that have changed the course of their lives toward lives worth living; towards lives that breed smiles like this; that make the rest of the world come to life...sometimes against all odds. Pioneers of Recovery.
The holidays can wear on folks and in early recovery they can be particularly challenging. The sun will rise and the sun will set and it will be another day, and that's enough to build a platform of gratitude around. Look into the many recovery based gatherings open to help navigate through the day(s).
I am thankful for you all, for letting me see you.

May others see you shining like this.

May others see you shining like this. Anyone in this MaineWorks circle knows that most arrive here battered and bruised with a lengthy damage report. Down to smoke and ashes. Often having lost, or damaged, connections to family.
This is one MaineWorks employee but in some ways he represents all.

See me. I showed up.
I am trying to put the bricks back in a different way.
I am a fledgling but I am trying.

Those around him may just watch him fly.

Dealing with life when the odds are stacked against you.

MaineWorks Circle: Dealing with life when the odds are stacked against you. Overcoming odds. Overcoming obstacles. Getting beat down. And standing back up. Hopefully, a bit wiser for the hard knock. Handling difficult pasts and trying to build hopeful futures we walk a tightrope with the gusts of stigma, and assumption, and fear, and remorse tossing us about.....and it is hope that will often right us. But it is a delicate human walk. #pioneersofrecovery #wedorecover #mainerecoveryfund