Timely message for me two years later.

Timely message for me two years later.

Memory from April 17th, 2018, with Justin Downey and Margo Walsh at MaineWorks:

What will we build when everything we know has been torn down, when we recognize we cannot just rebuild what has been...because that didn't serve us well. How do we put the bricks back in a different way?

To read an April 2020 interview with Justin Downey, please see https://www.joannearnold.com/posts/have-you-heard-sheltering-in-place-referred-to-as-solitary-might-want-to-read-this and https://www.joannearnold.com/posts/follow-up-to-april-2020-interview-with-justin-downey

Moose Elkins continues to make our world a better place to live in. Thank you, Moose.

Moose Elkins continues to make our world a better place to live in.
Thank you, Moose.

Memory from April 6th 2018

Making His Way. Reaching out for our dreams sounds so friggin' romantic, as if our pursuit for what we want is animated by little cherubs dropping rose petals on a path accompanied by unicorns and dancing kittens. But it is not. It is often sluggishly difficult day by day work marked by desperation that helps build the fraction of momentum, the tiniest traction to avoid being pulled back into the the hole we are so familiar with. Just enough forward motion to show up. Again. And again. I applaud this circle of employees who have made it through the winter. Fought the demons that line that path of an unformed dream for something better. Cheers to the Pioneers of Recovery, searching for the next toehold.

I can hold hopefulness. But only if I can acknowledge the grief.

Missing you Alden Andrews. Missing MaineWorks. Yup.

Grief.
I can hold hopefulness. But only if I can acknowledge the grief.

Memory from April 3rd 2017:

“Life is always throwing curveballs and the recovery community is certainly not immune to the destabilizing challenges we all face. Grave medical diagnoses of our children. Having to serve additional time in jail upon suspicions. Family illnesses. Dire circumstances. I watch over and over as they face situations- that would take my breath away and paralyze many I know- with a grace that I am in awe of.”

Three years ago. Three.

Three years ago. Three.
Rest, Alden. You made our lives better. And you still do even in your absence. Grateful. 

Memory from March 27 2017: Pre-Work Huddle at MaineWorks

Deeply missing the Pioneers of Recovery.

Deeply missing the Pioneers of Recovery. These are tough times and we may not have realized all those previous tough times were actually some of the good times. You are all in my heart though that is not what will pay your rent, or child support, or fines and fees, or your food bill.

Memory from March 27 2018: I have never been more convinced than now that we each see what we see and that that view is utterly unique. How we see ourselves matters. How we perceive our situation; How we chose to meet challenges; How we frame our experiences...all the work of recovery. A powerful lesson for us all.

I miss this. I miss Maineworks camaraderie.

I miss this. I miss Maineworks camaraderie. I miss the daily connection. Hang in there, Pioneers of Recovery. I am pretty certain these times are tough on you all. Intrepid for many.
Please remember what love there is for you all. And a whole bunch of us who cannot do much besides holding that along with a fistful of hope.
I imagine a day when we can reminisce around a fire under the stars about those strange covid 19 days.
PS: This is a photo from YEARS ago.

—with Brian Hall, Joseph Robichaud and Kenny Scribner.

Alden Andrews is on my mind and in my heart.

Alden Andrews is on my mind and in my heart. I am posting a link from his family below for anyone who knew Alden in any way, to add to a document intended eventually for his son, I believe. His son is currently 5 years old.
Still not okay with this man having to leave. Too soon. Tragically. Love you Alden. 

Alden Memories Doc 2:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wyZZrjTblNFqHeDycAmp2-kMD6oXMVTQBpXCQbacTbc/edit?fbclid=IwAR03sgKlkDzScVwI1uty_QtfaI-9SjwsOq_tPSGReM0PyzLidgkf7SAfivY

More images of Alden Andrews, just because it helps a little bit in the loss...something to place in the hole in our hearts.

More images of Alden Andrews, just because it helps a little bit in the loss...something to place in the hole in our hearts.

He was never one for melancholy

I am copying a post from Kendra Vinal, who kept us informed of Alden Andrews’ journey last week, who somehow found it in herself to be able to include us in that passage.

'Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes, regardless of this disconsolate time. I wish that I could tell you that it was a great day, but it's definitely not a year for me to celebrate. My only wish would be to feel his arms around me again, but since time machines haven't been invented yet (although he would disagree) I instead wish to meet many of you that have reached out in the last few days with your kind words and loving support. His friends are my friends and I'd like to get to know you all more. No other wish. We both have friends but we became somewhat hermitty by choice, spending time with each other. I'll need friends again and welcome new ones.
I've needed to withdraw a little, not nearly chatty or responsive as I normally am, and I know that those that know me best are worried. Don't be. Obviously everyone handles grief in their own way, and for me, I just need to decompress. Kind of just going through the motions taking care of the things that need to be done, all in a stoic stupor. A functional haze, one mental assignment at a time. Is there even a right way?
It hasn't been officially decided yet, but because I want for every last person to be able to attend his service as he would've wanted, it's going to have to wait until this pandemic is over. Neither one of us would want to risk the health or safety of any one of you, even if we were actually allowed to have a mass gathering. More to come on that which I will probably post on here as well as the GoFundMe link. It will also be listed soon in the Portland Press Herald, the Bangor Daily, the Courier Gazette and the Camden Herald. Seriously though, I want everyone to celebrate the $#!+ out of him together because he would want that. Many tears will be shed, that's a given, but I hope that everyone will be able to find solace and even a laugh or two when it's over. He was never one for melancholy and I know he'd want for good times to be shared and had.
Thanks for reading my all-over-the-place banter. I'll talk at you all soon.' -Kendra Vinal

Seeing Russell Leonard, MaineWorks Alum, on the waterfront working yesterday was a sight for sore eyes and a balm to my heart.

Seeing Russell Leonard, MaineWorks Alum, on the waterfront working yesterday was a sight for sore eyes and a balm to my heart. — with Russell Leonard at Fore River Dock & Dredge Inc.

How can I walk by without loving what will be?

Dear Anonymous,
Our friend Tyler showed up briefly yesterday morning. It's a difficult and uncertain time and that is not making the streets any more stable. I worry there will be many more out here before this is all over.
He smiles. Allows me to see him and I remember Alden Andrews commenting on photos of folks on the street on not so good days. He said 'THAT WAS ME.' remarking on his own mighty struggles.
Alden passed away tragically this weekend, the result of profound injuries from a hit and run accident.

After surviving heroin addiction.

That beautiful young man who rose like a phoenix from a pile of ashes was able to build a life with people he loved, in community, with his child and family. No more street.
That beautiful man related to another young man, miserable on the street and said 'THAT'S ME.' identifying in those words the spectrum of his own path.
So, how can I walk by without loving what will be?

Thank you Dear Anonymous.

May their grief be rich and complete and land finally in a field of love.

I just want to thank this broad online community for holding space for Alden Andrews during last week. I saw people falling in love with a man they never met. And holding him close to their hearts as he struggled and fought and finally succumbed to the profound injuries resulting from a massive hit and run accident in Liberty, Maine.
Thank you for this.
There is much grief but your heartfelt concern and empathy offers the gift of hope as well.
And if you are still able to pray in any way that is meaningful to you, please continue to do so for his parents, brothers, son and partner.
And may their grief be rich and complete and land finally in a field of love. Deepest condolences.

Not MY loss. OUR loss. A loss to community.

Not MY loss. OUR loss. A loss to community.
Thank you to all who have shown love and empathy during the last few days for Alden Andrews, his partner, family and friends.
He is free.
May we each remain in the love and attention we hold him in.
Take care of one another....regardless of fear.

To this fellow traveler who dropped his earthly bonds last night.

To this fellow traveler who dropped his earthly bonds last night. I am so grateful to have known you. So grateful you offered your voice and thoughts to difficult things and helped provide me insight. So grateful for your humor, your heart and your sparkling brilliant blue eyes.
Deepest, deepest heart wrenching condolences to your family and loved ones. You are a lot to lose, my friend.
You will always be my og Pioneer of Recovery.
Thank you to this broad community for loving him even if you didn't know him. What a great outcome.
With love.

My prayer. Our prayers. And grief.

My prayer.
Our prayers.

And grief.
Love you Alden Andrews and all that you overcame and all you fought to stay with us.
Damn.
Damn.
Damn.

A message from Kendra Vinal:
UPDATE
3/14/20 11:30PM
The 3rd cardiac arrest happened and we were in the ICU waiting room. The charge nurse came out explaining what was happening and advised that pretty much after the last one they were already concerned that there was extensive brain damage due to no circulation for over 10 minutes. His mother and I went into see him and the entire team still working on him. She had to make the call because we both knew he would not want that quality of life.

Alden lost his fight at 7:22pm this evening.

I do hope that everyone understands that the delay of this announcement was out of respect to our families, as they needed to hear it from us first and not through social media. We appreciate everyone's love and support throughout this terrible ordeal.

We will be sure to keep everyone updated with details of his Celebration of Life. From the bottoms of our hearts, we thank each and everyone of you for your daily prayers.

Prayers. My prayer. Alden Andrews I love you.

Prayers. My prayer.
Alden Andrews I love you.
May you have known this and all the love that surrounds you.

My deepest condolences to his family.
Heart sick.

Update:YESTERDAY
by Kendra Vinal, Organizer
UPDATE
3/14/20 11:30PM
The 3rd cardiac arrest happened and we were in the ICU waiting room. The charge nurse came out explaining what was happening and advised that pretty much after the last one they were already concerned that there was extensive brain damage due to no circulation for over 10 minutes. His mother and I went into see him and the entire team still working on him. She had to make the call because we both knew he would not want that quality of life.

Alden lost his fight at 7:22pm this evening.

I do hope that everyone understands that the delay of this announcement was out of respect to our families, as they needed to hear it from us first and not through social media. We appreciate everyone's love and support throughout this terrible ordeal.

We will be sure to keep everyone updated with details of his Celebration of Life. From the bottoms of our hearts, we thank each and everyone of you for your daily prayers.

My prayer. Another prayer.

My prayer. Another prayer.

Another update:
by Kendra Vinal, Organizer
UPDATE
3/14/20 7:13PM
He flatlined again at 6:52pm. They continued to do CPR for over 10 minutes. His pulse has returned. My whole world stopped turning and all I could do was watch and pray harder than I ever have in my life, telling him to come back. We need him.
I'm beside myself. How will I ever sleep again? He's still with us guys. Don't give up on him ❤

My prayer. Update on Alden Andrews from Kendra Vinal.

My prayer.
Update on Alden Andrews from Kendra Vinal (updates are available on the gofundme page):
TODAY
by Kendra Vinal, Organizer
UPDATE
3/14/20 7:45AM
My babe has survived another night! Alden stabilized enough that they were able to take him back into surgery early this morning. They removed more of his damaged bowel and were able to stop/slow the major bleeding to his leg. He's back in ICU. His temperature looks good, but his blood pressure is dangerously low. They're giving him more blood products. He's already extremely swollen everywhere from fluid retention. He did not have a lot of urine output last night, nor much since surgery ended around 4 this morning. There is SOME output so his kidneys have not completely failed. Hopefully he can remain stabilized throughout the day and his kidneys will continue to improve without the stress of the damaged bowel and leg bleed stressing it further. He's still fighting to stay with us. A nurse told me he even moved his hand earlier. Please keep sending love and prayers his way, he's still extremely sick. I Love you all

Another prayer. Another update on Alden Andrews.

Another prayer.

Another update on Alden Andrews:
by Kendra Vinal, Organizer
UPDATE
3/13/20 6:15PM
He's back in ICU from surgery. Labs are a bit off, primarily his potassium, calcium and glucose. They're running another course of dialysis. His lower abdomen and pelvis are packed and they're continuing to leave it open. They've been having some trouble due to the location to keep the vacuum seal on his abdomen but are still "doing arts and crafts" as they put it. His temperature has dropped due to the dialysis but they're raising it slowly with an inflatable plastic blanket that I can only describe as a transparent pool floaty and blankets. Please continue to pray that he stabilizes. He's still critically sick.
I cannot express my gratitude to everyone and I have to believe he's still with us for a reason and that he can feel the love, regardless of distance. ❤

This is my prayer.

This is my prayer.

Update on Alden Andrews:
TODAY
by Kendra Vinal, Organizer
UPDATE
3/13/20 2:30pm
They were able to locate a pulse on the front of his leg but no tibial pulse. There is extensive muscle damage as it was pretty much ripped off, and there is a lot of skin missing. They've decided not to amputate at this time, but they will reassess in a few days. His labs are still not good because the stress of the damage to his body and his kidneys are failing to keep up. They have repacked his leg for now. They also had to remove a section of his colon. He has reactive pupils, which is still a good sign. The surgeons have prefaced the next surgery should he stabilize and survive. He's still critically ill but my man is still fighting to stay with us. Please keep him in your prayers, as I truly believe that it's helped him to survive this long. It's not his time.
Due to security reasons and high risk of infection he is unable to have visitors at this time. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the support and for your understanding during this devastating time.