To those of you I know out here who have struggled with their fatherdom. Who have not been present to their children due to substance abuse, mental health issues, because sometimes you were initially broken by your own father...who was likely broken. Or had no father. Or no model for what it might be to be a man you now want to be. A lineage of broken hearts. Cheers to those I know out here who have been able to rekindle relationships with their children and those reshaping what it is to be a fathers child. Who have rebuilt relationships as you rebuild who you are and what you can be to others. Prayers to you who want to leave a legacy for your children, the children who have dismissed you or will not recognize you, so hurt are they. Keep. Going. I pray you continue your work on yourselves, the greatest gift you can offer your child ...and us. We see you and hold you in our hearts. And for those that have been hurt by your father, in all the ways humans hurt vulnerable humans, I open my heart to that pain and pray for you, a life in love. Regardless.
Tyler. The photo on the left is from last year at this time...
Tyler. June 2019
Tyler. The photo above is from last year at this time. Tyler. The photo below is from this morning when you passed through with a smile headed back to listen to the news. You made it through a fckn' gauntlet. You have a roof over your head now. You can stand up straight. You can smile. You are RICH.
Tyler. Late May 2020
How can I walk by without loving what will be?
Dear Anonymous,
Our friend Tyler showed up briefly yesterday morning. It's a difficult and uncertain time and that is not making the streets any more stable. I worry there will be many more out here before this is all over.
He smiles. Allows me to see him and I remember Alden Andrews commenting on photos of folks on the street on not so good days. He said 'THAT WAS ME.' remarking on his own mighty struggles.
Alden passed away tragically this weekend, the result of profound injuries from a hit and run accident.
After surviving heroin addiction.
That beautiful young man who rose like a phoenix from a pile of ashes was able to build a life with people he loved, in community, with his child and family. No more street.
That beautiful man related to another young man, miserable on the street and said 'THAT'S ME.' identifying in those words the spectrum of his own path.
So, how can I walk by without loving what will be?
Thank you Dear Anonymous.
Sometimes it's the conversations that spring up amongst MaineWorks employees....
Sometimes it's the conversations that spring up amongst MaineWorks employees that really illustrate what is at hand. This morning several employees were reflecting on where they were in their lives two years ago. One year ago.
Self described as 'The Walking Dead.' Repeat that : The Walking Dead.
I sincerely barely recognize them from those times.
These men, standing by a fire at 6 AM conversing, are alive. Vibrant. Compassionate. Deliberately so.
With transformations like this, so much, so VERY much seems possible. Keep. Going.
And there just might be that moment in a MaineWorks Circle in the snow at 6 AM...
And there just might be that moment in a MaineWorks Circle in the snow at 6 AM, in the dark, when you can see who someone is far beyond what they have done. Or what they have used. Or time they may have served. Or are serving. Sometimes someone will lift their face to the light, just so, and state what is moving them in their recovery. And sometimes we will be told it is their first born, one month old, that woke them to a sobriety not considered before.
And this is the magic if any here. That we, just for a brief moment, can see one another beyond what we have done, or screwed up, or brought down in flames, or injured, or overlooked. If there is magic it is this glimpse of what we can be and that traction to give it a life.
Thankful for the people in my life that have changed the course of their lives toward lives worth living...
Thankful for the people in my life that have changed the course of their lives toward lives worth living; towards lives that breed smiles like this; that make the rest of the world come to life...sometimes against all odds. Pioneers of Recovery.
The holidays can wear on folks and in early recovery they can be particularly challenging. The sun will rise and the sun will set and it will be another day, and that's enough to build a platform of gratitude around. Look into the many recovery based gatherings open to help navigate through the day(s).
I am thankful for you all, for letting me see you.