I met Nick Giacoppo at MaineWorks and his brother Chris Giacoppo. Beautiful men...

 
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I met Nick Giacoppo at MaineWorks and his brother Chris Giacoppo. Beautiful men. They lost their brother Ricky to a fatal overdose this year. This morning Nick joined me on the streets and distributed backpacks from his family's non-profit RICKY,INC. A tribute and living memorial aimed to assist those struggling on the street. Though they are operating out of the Boston area Nick was able to distribute many here in Portland this morning. Nick's mom...I'd be very, very proud.

An excerpt from Trauma, Addiction and The Greatest Life Cheat...

 
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An excerpt from Trauma, Addiction and The Greatest Life Cheat.
'I want these two women to be kind to me. You know, this one woman who brings me blueberry muffins and gave me a book, that’s you Joanne, and the other one, Margo Walsh, who yells at me but I know she likes me. I want this little semblance of kindness I get around 5:30-6:00 in the morning. So, I can’t beat the f**k outta’ this person. I’m not kidding. This is seriously what was going on in my mind. I wanted people to be nice to me for once. And because I knew how good it made me feel, I'm going to learn how to do this for other people.'
-Justin Downey

https://www.joannearnold.com/posts/trauma-addiction-and-the-greatest-life-cheat-a-conversation-with-justin-downey

Oh dear, and now Alden Andrews arrives in my memory box. Damn. See Alden? You are still with us in this way.

 
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Oh dear, and now Alden Andrews arrives in my memory box. Damn. See Alden? You are still with us in this way.

Memory from April 17th, 2017 with Margo Walsh and Alden Andrews at MaineWorks:

How often do we want to turn away, turn off, disappear from whatever the daily dilemma is...the daily disorder, the daily grind, the daily drama,the daily struggle? Embracing the struggle can feel as attractive as wrestling with a hair shirt. How to be in the world against all odds.

Timely message for me two years later.

 
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Timely message for me two years later.

Memory from April 17th, 2018, with Justin Downey and Margo Walsh at MaineWorks:

What will we build when everything we know has been torn down, when we recognize we cannot just rebuild what has been...because that didn't serve us well. How do we put the bricks back in a different way?

To read an April 2020 interview with Justin Downey, please see https://www.joannearnold.com/posts/have-you-heard-sheltering-in-place-referred-to-as-solitary-might-want-to-read-this and https://www.joannearnold.com/posts/follow-up-to-april-2020-interview-with-justin-downey

Moose Elkins continues to make our world a better place to live in. Thank you, Moose.

 
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Moose Elkins continues to make our world a better place to live in.
Thank you, Moose.

Memory from April 6th 2018

Making His Way. Reaching out for our dreams sounds so friggin' romantic, as if our pursuit for what we want is animated by little cherubs dropping rose petals on a path accompanied by unicorns and dancing kittens. But it is not. It is often sluggishly difficult day by day work marked by desperation that helps build the fraction of momentum, the tiniest traction to avoid being pulled back into the the hole we are so familiar with. Just enough forward motion to show up. Again. And again. I applaud this circle of employees who have made it through the winter. Fought the demons that line that path of an unformed dream for something better. Cheers to the Pioneers of Recovery, searching for the next toehold.

I can hold hopefulness. But only if I can acknowledge the grief.

 
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Missing you Alden Andrews. Missing MaineWorks. Yup.

Grief.
I can hold hopefulness. But only if I can acknowledge the grief.

Memory from April 3rd 2017:

“Life is always throwing curveballs and the recovery community is certainly not immune to the destabilizing challenges we all face. Grave medical diagnoses of our children. Having to serve additional time in jail upon suspicions. Family illnesses. Dire circumstances. I watch over and over as they face situations- that would take my breath away and paralyze many I know- with a grace that I am in awe of.”

Deeply missing the Pioneers of Recovery.

 
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Deeply missing the Pioneers of Recovery. These are tough times and we may not have realized all those previous tough times were actually some of the good times. You are all in my heart though that is not what will pay your rent, or child support, or fines and fees, or your food bill.

Memory from March 27 2018: I have never been more convinced than now that we each see what we see and that that view is utterly unique. How we see ourselves matters. How we perceive our situation; How we chose to meet challenges; How we frame our experiences...all the work of recovery. A powerful lesson for us all.

I miss this. I miss Maineworks camaraderie.

 
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I miss this. I miss Maineworks camaraderie. I miss the daily connection. Hang in there, Pioneers of Recovery. I am pretty certain these times are tough on you all. Intrepid for many.
Please remember what love there is for you all. And a whole bunch of us who cannot do much besides holding that along with a fistful of hope.
I imagine a day when we can reminisce around a fire under the stars about those strange covid 19 days.
PS: This is a photo from YEARS ago.

—with Brian Hall, Joseph Robichaud and Kenny Scribner.

He was never one for melancholy

 
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I am copying a post from Kendra Vinal, who kept us informed of Alden Andrews’ journey last week, who somehow found it in herself to be able to include us in that passage.

'Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes, regardless of this disconsolate time. I wish that I could tell you that it was a great day, but it's definitely not a year for me to celebrate. My only wish would be to feel his arms around me again, but since time machines haven't been invented yet (although he would disagree) I instead wish to meet many of you that have reached out in the last few days with your kind words and loving support. His friends are my friends and I'd like to get to know you all more. No other wish. We both have friends but we became somewhat hermitty by choice, spending time with each other. I'll need friends again and welcome new ones.
I've needed to withdraw a little, not nearly chatty or responsive as I normally am, and I know that those that know me best are worried. Don't be. Obviously everyone handles grief in their own way, and for me, I just need to decompress. Kind of just going through the motions taking care of the things that need to be done, all in a stoic stupor. A functional haze, one mental assignment at a time. Is there even a right way?
It hasn't been officially decided yet, but because I want for every last person to be able to attend his service as he would've wanted, it's going to have to wait until this pandemic is over. Neither one of us would want to risk the health or safety of any one of you, even if we were actually allowed to have a mass gathering. More to come on that which I will probably post on here as well as the GoFundMe link. It will also be listed soon in the Portland Press Herald, the Bangor Daily, the Courier Gazette and the Camden Herald. Seriously though, I want everyone to celebrate the $#!+ out of him together because he would want that. Many tears will be shed, that's a given, but I hope that everyone will be able to find solace and even a laugh or two when it's over. He was never one for melancholy and I know he'd want for good times to be shared and had.
Thanks for reading my all-over-the-place banter. I'll talk at you all soon.' -Kendra Vinal

To this fellow traveler who dropped his earthly bonds last night.

 
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To this fellow traveler who dropped his earthly bonds last night. I am so grateful to have known you. So grateful you offered your voice and thoughts to difficult things and helped provide me insight. So grateful for your humor, your heart and your sparkling brilliant blue eyes.
Deepest, deepest heart wrenching condolences to your family and loved ones. You are a lot to lose, my friend.
You will always be my og Pioneer of Recovery.
Thank you to this broad community for loving him even if you didn't know him. What a great outcome.
With love.