He shares a bit about himself. Where he's from. How he got here. His story.
He eyes the wool blankets in my car and happy to say he walks home with them.
'I sleep on a couch. It's cold.'
Thank you dear Anonymous. You will keep him warm.
He knows the streets and all the players and all the stories and all the outcomes and all the possibilities.
#streetspeaks
What. A. Sweet. Heart.
A Dear Anonymous in the flesh, our friend Robin, shows up this morning...
Dear Anonymous ,
A Dear Anonymous in the flesh, our friend Robin, shows up this morning with food, blankets, some clothing and big bags of toys for Mike to share up at the Family Shelter, or with families he knows that could use a lift for their kids.
Hard to tell who was happier and who was gonna have the most fun. The giver. The distributor. Or the kids. It's a win-win-win and he cannot wait.
The conversation turns to more difficult subjects like men who have been sexually abused as children. About how that can manifest into violence and other truly difficult behaviors. It turns toward the damage people can do to one another, particularly to children. And it continued into the injustices connected to some of the lives of those who have been abused. To the pain. And to the very difficult practice of 'doing the right thing'.
Mike is going to walk around the corner with me because a friend is sleeping there. 'But, you ain't goin' alone. That guy who stabbed my arm last year is sleepin' there too.'
I don't need to be the one to deliver the card. I hand him two.
He pauses looking at the card then lifts his eyes to mine,
'Ya' mean for THAT guy too?'
He smiles.
' I get it. What are we supposeed to do....?'
— with Robin Lynn Herrick.
Coffee cards, coffee cake, socks, more coffee cards, more socks ,backpacks, pants and hats and gloves and a sleeping bag and blankets took flight today.
Dear Anonymous,
Coffee cards, coffee cake, socks, more coffee cards, more socks ,backpacks, pants and hats and gloves and a sleeping bag and blankets took flight today. And near the end of the morning gathering he stops by with a big smile.
Shows me the backpack he has had since he received it here from Dear Anonymous in November #maggiesmission. Wanted to make sure I took note he was still using it.
Photo with permission. Even took his hat off for a moment.
Then a woman trudges by. Small in frame. Looks cold.Hood up. No eye contact.
In a moment the guys sort of indicate it's ok and she comes over and we chat.
She's tender. And cold. And we get her set up with a coat and a vest. 'Can't put it on now, got no bra on.' and raises her eyes to the group of guys a few yards away from us.
'All my stuff is in my boyfriend's car.'
She is walking vulnerability.
Fill her bag with handwarmers and foot warmers and socks and toiletries.
Something about her boyfriend locking her out of his car where all her gear is.
Something from me about careful hangin' with folks that lock you out. Once said I wished I could rush out, collect those words and toss them to the ocean before they arrive at her ears.
'But I love him.' And she cries. Her nose is red. Her coat insufficient. Her boots wet.
She is grateful for the resources and a hot cup of coffee.
Thank you Dear Anonymous.
Charles, a lovely man we set up today with backpacks and handwarmers to distribute to the kids he finds on the streets.
Dear Anonymous,
Charles, a lovely man we set up today with backpacks and handwarmers to distribute to the kids he finds on the streets. He buys pencils and notebooks and puts them inside the packs for them. 'I don't know what else to do.' he says.
And this is Robin, a woman who arrived with food and blankets and more.
I only met Robin this year. She has had a lifelong career in social services.
She is holding an image of mine of her cousin David who I knew as a worker down on Custom House Wharf.
Come to find out we ALL knew him out on the street. Everyone nodding, yes, we know him. He was part of this street community. He died a couple of years ago.
This image floated up in Facebook's memory this past fall via a Facebook friend connection and Robin identified it as her family member and we connected.
On a little patch of dirty pavement she opens the envelope to see her cousin.There may have been a few tears. And the guys out here on the street realize they all knew him and that he's gone. A brief street memorial. With few words.
Connection.
Connection.
Connection.
— with Robin Lynn Herrick.
A crowd this morning. And we laughed at how it felt like Trick-or-Treat.
Dear Anonymous,
A crowd this morning. And we laughed at how it felt like Trick-or-Treat. Long on the treats I'm happy to report.
Someone was disgruntled that so-and-so got a coffee card and 'he don't deserve it.'
Afterwards, after coffee cards are dispersed, socks find new homes, hand warmers are stuffed into pockets, gloves and pants are rifled through, I ask just a few,
What shall we do? Set up a table. With someone with a clipboard. And do extensive interviews to determine deservedness?'
Nah.
Not gonna happen.
Socks. Coffee cards and the connection to community.I am grateful for smiles this morning. There's always gratitude expressed. There is also pain and desperation expressed. Theirs. Mine. Ours.
Coffee cards and socks. Thank you Dear Anonymous, thank you.
And whoever left bags of socks at my door, thank you. Much appreciated and already distributed.
MaineWorks provides employment opportunities and second and third and fourth chances.
MaineWorks provides employment opportunities and second and third and fourth chances. What can support in early recovery look like? Employment in an environment where everyone is familiar with the complex and individual journey of recovery, for one.
Support can look like helping to get someone situated in a sober house that works for them; sometimes as simple as getting them some clothes to start out with. Boots to work in. Safety gear. And urgently, a respectful space in a circle of people trying their damnest to make a new life. Welcome.
Sometimes it's the conversations that spring up amongst MaineWorks employees....
Sometimes it's the conversations that spring up amongst MaineWorks employees that really illustrate what is at hand. This morning several employees were reflecting on where they were in their lives two years ago. One year ago.
Self described as 'The Walking Dead.' Repeat that : The Walking Dead.
I sincerely barely recognize them from those times.
These men, standing by a fire at 6 AM conversing, are alive. Vibrant. Compassionate. Deliberately so.
With transformations like this, so much, so VERY much seems possible. Keep. Going.
This young man stopped by for a hug and some blueberry cake and a coffee card.
Dear Anonymous,
This young man stopped by for a hug and some blueberry cake and a coffee card. Speaking clearly. Excited about his apartment. Working with a case worker, and he tells me, 'Staying away from the people I ought to stay away from.'
Noticeably clear headed this morning and it was lovely to see him.
Meanwhile,it's damn cold. Mike has been wandering around all night. Stomach upset. Huddles into granite window ledge outside the coffee shop.Takes a backpack filled with hats and toe warmers to share as he goes along.
No lengthy conversations today...grab a coffee card , some socks, and hand warmers (thank you Dear Anonymous) and go find a place inside.
'If you cannot fly then run, if you cannot run then walk, if you cannot walk then crawl, but whatever you do keep moving forward.' Martin Luther King, Jr.
'If you cannot fly then run, if you cannot run then walk, if you cannot walk then crawl, but whatever you do keep moving forward.'
Martin Luther King, Jr.
The MaineWorks Circle was big this morning and was still looking for a few more employees to fill the requested jobs....
The MaineWorks Circle was big this morning and was still looking for a few more employees to fill the requested jobs.
Employees were asked 'What have you done in your life that you think is cool?'
We heard: I've traveled the world; I've traveled to every state in the nation, one young man has done so riding train car. Others have stayed at Van Gogh's apartment in France; had clearance to ride on a stealth bomber. Some employees mentioned moose hunting and pig hunting; fishing long line; long boarding; athletic pursuits. But these are the answers that stopped me in my track:
My sobriety.
My daughter.
My two children.
A couple of years ago this man had just said to me...
Dear Anonymous,
A couple of years ago this man had just said to me,
'I'm not on the streets because I drink. I drink because I'm on the streets...'
And I think about this cold night as I hunker down under my down comforter. Inside. Relatively safe.
And then I note that someone has just delivered a big bag of much needed hand and feet warmers. I don't even know who it was yet. And some backpacks. And some clothing and warm merino wool socks. Thank you Dear Anonymous.
And just when I think that giving socks out by the dozens is futile, we recieve this message from someone who used to be out there. Out here. On the streets. And he made it through. And is now living a generous life of gratitude.
He wrote this about his experience of receiving a pair of socks while living on the streets:
'Find a dry place to change them.
Smile a bitter smile, and let your heart break again.
But it is the combined efforts of sock-givers, people-feeders and shelter providers that allow this life to persist. A chance to go to sleep that night, and say "maybe it will get better tomorrow"
Sometimes it does.
For me it did. I will never forget the kindness and i will never forget to pay it forward.'
So on a very cold night when I worry about our friends out here I want to thank you all for your generosity.
Tomorrow there shall be socks. And coffee. And hand warmers.
Broken hearts and all.
One of you Dear Anonymous's dropped off this beautiful scarf...
Dear Anonymous,
One of you Dear Anonymous's dropped off this beautiful scarf, a perfect match for Mike's outfit today.
This morning there were so many who stopped by. There's never enough coffee cards and socks but think we covered at least everybody who came by. Alot of gratitude and
thank yous which I extend to all of you. And a lot of dispirited folks looking shell shocked and dumbstruck. Each with a story and a gaping series of wounds. Kicked out of here or there. Wandering with a garbage bag filled with their belongings. Some who have been beat up on the streets for defending someone and winding up in the hospital for a week. Old timers living on the street. Alcohol. Brain injuries.
'Something not quite right with him.' they say.
One young man has a bag of tobacco and sets up shop rolling cigarettes for a few guys before walking on. Another tells me the coffee card I handed him last week was not activated and I felt awful.
He said 'I appreciated it though.' with a meek smile. Damn.
Happy Birthday Penthea Burns and thank you for who you are in our world.
Happy Birthday Penthea Burns and thank you for who you are in our world.
I had only seen him with hat and hood up. Then. He let his hair down.
I have a necklace that I collect all the little charms that have been gifted to me. This man, who knows the streets well, gave me a little pendant he found. An enamel pendant. It has an image of a lotus blossom on it and though he may not have been familiar with the imagery we both laughed and smiled when I referred to the symbolism attached to it. Of a beautiful flower blossoming but only because it is rooted in the mud. From the mud and mess and muck a beautiful flower can blossom. ‘Right on.’, he said. ’Right on.’
Sweet man. Asks to be photographed, and all we need to do is move him into the light.
Dear Anonymous,
Sweet man. Asks to be photographed, and all we need to do is move him into the light.
Still in his apartment. Still happy about that.
Todd, photographed with his permission.
Dear Anonymous,
Todd, photographed with his permission. Years ago Todd surprised me by remembering my name after we first met.
I have a difficult time remembering names. I often get someones name wrong and it's embarrassing. And all those years ago from across the street he called out my name. I was touched by that grace.
He's not new to the streets and is living outside at this time.
A smile here but grumpy underneath from not getting enough sleep.
'I'm not gettin' any younger out here. I need my sleep.'
James McKinney
MaineWorks employee showing up routinely? Demonstrating efforts to change toward wellness? Then Maine Recovery Fund can step in and assist MaineWorks employees in overcoming obstacles to moving forward. Like obtaining eye care. Which is expensive and out of reach for many in early recovery.
Here's James, pretty happy to have received this assistance in obtaining contact lenses. Keep going James, and thank you Maine Recovery Fund.
And there just might be that moment in a MaineWorks Circle in the snow at 6 AM...
And there just might be that moment in a MaineWorks Circle in the snow at 6 AM, in the dark, when you can see who someone is far beyond what they have done. Or what they have used. Or time they may have served. Or are serving. Sometimes someone will lift their face to the light, just so, and state what is moving them in their recovery. And sometimes we will be told it is their first born, one month old, that woke them to a sobriety not considered before.
And this is the magic if any here. That we, just for a brief moment, can see one another beyond what we have done, or screwed up, or brought down in flames, or injured, or overlooked. If there is magic it is this glimpse of what we can be and that traction to give it a life.
Mike calls to a couple of guys walking by. Hoods up. Heads down. Hunkered. Trudging.
Dear Anonymous,
Mike calls to a couple of guys walking by. Hoods up. Heads down. Hunkered. Trudging.
Mike introduces them and we both say
'Want a coffee card?'
They pause.
They ask. 'How much does it cost?'
I feel their anxiety rise.
I respond, 'Nothing'.
But the rest of the regular guys answer with,
'Friendship.'
And I hear their tenderness. And their statement.
But I turn to them when I hand them the cards from you Dear Anonymous, and say,
'It doesn't cost friendship. It doesn't cost a thing. It's a coffee card for chrissakes. Go warm up.'
The simple exchange, with nothing expected, is the grace...is the friendship.
A Dear Anonymous offered an opportunity to purchase some toys for Mike to distribute to kids in the shelter.
Dear Anonymous,
A Dear Anonymous offered an opportunity to purchase some toys for Mike to distribute to kids in the shelter. This is the one thing that I see that lights this man up like nothing else. It IS his high and he has been clear about how much he enjoys this role.
Todays stash includes Barbie dolls with the subtitle YOU CAN BE ANYTHING, and several are beautifully dark skinned. Hallelujah. There are Matchbox cars and lego figurines.
Some kids today will have a few moments of fun. Maybe a little less stress. Same for Mike.
Thank you Dear Anonymous.