When asked 'What do YOU do to keep the Wild Beast of Addiction away from you?' the answers fell like a litany of graces: They included:
I pray.
I exercise...and pray.
I go to counseling.
I attend NA and AA Meetings.
I read.
I find people to talk to.
I appreciate what I have and remember what it was like NOT having that.
I stay busy.
I make myself stay positive.
I come to this circle.
Keep. Coming.Back.
In this MaineWorks circle we spoke about the safety of a fire circle.
In this MaineWorks circle we spoke about the safety of a fire circle. There are still places that light a fire and assemble community around it to protect them from the 'wild beasts'. Places where there are predators lurking in the shadows waiting to take down their prey, made easier if someone has wandered off into the jungle or forest alone. The fire is safety and connection. Here in this parking lot we also protect ourselves from the wild beasts of addiction and substance abuse. It nips at everyones heel, just outside the light of this circle waiting for that moment when vigilance fails. The predator has been described here at this circle as an enemy that never sleeps and knows exactly where you are 24/7.
It waits for that less than vigilant moment to dig into our calves and drag us away into the dark.
And we have lost many on this journey. Some of the employees can no longer keep track of how many they know that have died.
This fire is about life or death. Keep coming back to the fire even if just for these brief moments, safe at least for that time, from the wild beasts lurking in the shadows.
This morning at MaineWorks THIS is what it felt like. Alive. Full of possibility.
This morning at MaineWorks THIS is what it felt like. Alive. Full of possibility. By 5:15 AM the fire was made, the coffee was brewing the parking lot was being sanded by hand.
(Thank you Erik with a K: )
There was food. There were new coats being distributed. There was vitality. Amidst all the challenges and the obstacles they show up with this spirit. I hope the world is watching their work, their awakening, their choice.
This smile? Was the gift that had enough energy to charge my day.
This is our current MaineWorks fire starter, Erik.
This is our current MaineWorks fire starter, Erik. Every weekday morning he leaves his sober house around 4 AM.
He walks to MaineWorks, maybe a mile and a half or so, and says that time clears his head a bit. Perhaps a walking meditation of sorts.
By 5:15 AM he's got the fire organized and underway. He uses a minimum of material to get the flame established favoring a bit of discipline and care rather than propellants. It starts quietly and he builds this lovely lotus blossom arrangement of firewood around it so as to dry them just a bit further. Then as the fire gains some stability he begins to fold those pieces in toward the center creating a tent for the fire and successfully providing fuel. I often see him preparing for the next days fire. Stashing some dry wood away here or there to secure a good start.
His practice is beautiful. And steady. And a damn amazing metaphor for recovery. We appreciate all the levels of warmth and light he contributes. Thank you, Erik.
James McKinney
MaineWorks employee showing up routinely? Demonstrating efforts to change toward wellness? Then Maine Recovery Fund can step in and assist MaineWorks employees in overcoming obstacles to moving forward. Like obtaining eye care. Which is expensive and out of reach for many in early recovery.
Here's James, pretty happy to have received this assistance in obtaining contact lenses. Keep going James, and thank you Maine Recovery Fund.
Facing the day at MaineWorks. 6 AM. Dark. Snowing.
Facing the day at MaineWorks. 6 AM. Dark. Snowing. Every one here has a story that makes you wonder how they survived. Against all Odds. Showing up. Pioneers of Recovery.
And there just might be that moment in a MaineWorks Circle in the snow at 6 AM...
And there just might be that moment in a MaineWorks Circle in the snow at 6 AM, in the dark, when you can see who someone is far beyond what they have done. Or what they have used. Or time they may have served. Or are serving. Sometimes someone will lift their face to the light, just so, and state what is moving them in their recovery. And sometimes we will be told it is their first born, one month old, that woke them to a sobriety not considered before.
And this is the magic if any here. That we, just for a brief moment, can see one another beyond what we have done, or screwed up, or brought down in flames, or injured, or overlooked. If there is magic it is this glimpse of what we can be and that traction to give it a life.
MaineWorks: Post circle many are waiting for transportation to the job site.
MaineWorks: Post circle many are waiting for transportation to the job site.
MaineWorks can be found at the intersection of despair and hope. And this little circle weighs heavily on the side of hope. Hope is not always gregarious and chummy. Rarely does it whack you on the back in welcome, especially when the mad dog of addiction still sniffs at your heels. Hope can be quite innocuous and almost silent. It can emerge as some sense of traction. Some forward movement no matter how simple. Hope can be found in the grace of simply showing up, especially in early recovery.
And we flock toward the light and warmth of that understated whisper.
This circle defines that rim, that edge between the darkness of despair and the light, even if it is wobbly and weak, of hope.
MaineWorks Circle. 17 degrees: 'Your lives, for most of you, have come down to ruins and this is the chance...'
MaineWorks Circle. 17 degrees: 'Your lives, for most of you, have come down to ruins and this is the chance, this is the opportunity to make it different. If you don't care about building a life, go elsewhere. Go to other temp agencies. You can get a job. But here, we are at your back if you want it to be different. This business was built on hiring the unhirable. Felons. Drug addicts in recovery. To give some traction if you are ready to step up. But you have to show up like it matters. Like your life depends on how you show up on the job site. Because it does. You do that and doors will open. Opportunities will arise. We'll be at your back. But you gotta 'Show up. Suit up. and shut up' and demonstrate you're willing and able. '
Then she said 'I do this because I love you guys.'
Drop the mic.
Off to work.
This is a hybrid post and one that touches both Dear Anonymous and MaineWorks.
This is a hybrid post and one that touches both Dear Anonymous and MaineWorks. Dear Anonymous, this is a young man who was on the streets last year that you helped provide coffee cards and socks and more to. He was 80 pounds lighter. Mid winter he was gone. He had given up. Drugs was his 'place'. His story is filled with tragic loss and family deaths and illness. Arrested and now in the pre-release program, sober and beginning at MaineWorks as an employee.
When he disappeared off the streets last winter I was concerned he had actually died. He was not in a good place.
Just about a year later and life shines in his eyes. His heart is evident in his speech.He speaks of wanting to be there for his children; for his family. Because it matters. He has plans to give back. Will miracles never cease?
Friday at MaineWorks Circle is often a day to invite community friends and MaineWorks alum and employees that go directly to the job site in the morning.
Friday at MaineWorks Circle is often a day to invite community friends and MaineWorks alum and employees that go directly to the job site in the morning. Today the circle of employees was large....and it felt exciting to see everyone. Handsome. Ready to go. Despite the struggles. Around this circle there are tales of near death, incarceration, lives given up on, the depravity of meaninglessness, the fractured lives from addiction and substance abuse. There's a vitality to the moment. Possibility tempered with a presence, an in-the-moment attention to rivet energy. This is what recovery can look like.
These two. Hammin' it up.
These two. Hammin' it up.
6 AM and a little MaineWorks Circle is inside today...
6 AM and a little MaineWorks Circle is inside today protected from the freezing rain and snow....and Margo Walsh has asked this employee to read Derek Walcott's poem LOVE AFTER LOVE. And though MaineWorks is all about work and boots and time cards, MaineWorks is truly about moments like this. And she asks what is it you want to FEEL this new year. Not DO. Or GET. What is it you want to feel?
'I want to feel peace.'
I want to know forgiveness.'
'I want to know who I am.'
'I want to let go of resentments.'
'I want to be less stressed.'
And I am in a little circle of humanity. A circle of humanity looking to become more human. Less stressed by external stuff. More in alignment with who they really are.
I am smitten.
Proud of you Steve Lawrence.
Proud of you Steve Lawrence.
Former MaineWorks employee and friend Steve Lawrence joined us at todays circle at 6 AM in the snow. His journey has been, like many others, torturous, agonizing and tough.
And today he shared this smile. Born of making an amends, a difficult one, that then led to a donation to Maine Recovery Fund that directly assists MaineWorks employees.
Standing in that circle you could feel that awful reckoning and that profound relief and the joy of that unexpected generosity. That his painful amends led to a direct giving to the circle of employees he had emerged from. A story of giving back achieved when he least expected it. Congratulations on your personal journey and your truth telling. You are a Pioneer of Recovery and MaineWorks thanks you.
The Odyssey of Recovery.
The Odyssey of Recovery. The weight of what we do not reveal. The damage done to self. To others. The difficulty of truth telling. The relief of truth telling. The unexpected gifts of it all. Broken. Then, broken open.
In a little circle in the middle of a storm we stand shoulder to shoulder. Maybe it's not much but it's a start. It's a connection. It is community.
Last Friday this MaineWorks employee nudged me...
Last Friday this MaineWorks employee nudged me and said something like 'Hey, Miss Joanne....sure would like to have those banana muffins on Monday!'
I have been making sandwiches for the guys, something they can stash in their bags for lunch, not so many baked goods lately. I turned to him and said something like 'You're it. I am passing the torch.' I never gave it another thought....until he showed up this morning arriving like this, with a flourish...with ...homemade banana muffins. He glazed them and set them out just like this. All before work. All before making his way into a world that may not recognize that he took up the challenge...and DELIVERED. I am in AWE.
MaineWorks. Proud of you. That's all. Proud of you.
MaineWorks.
Proud of you. That's all.
Proud of you.
MaineWorks employee: This beautiful face.
MaineWorks employee: This beautiful face. He's asking questions about next steps. He shows up every day. With this beautiful face.
Cecil Solaguren, Director of Human Resources at MaineWorks...
Cecil Solaguren, Director of Human Resources at MaineWorks speaking at the Maine Recovery Fund Donor Appreciation evening at Portland Country Club. Cecil rocked it outta the park with his straightforward style deeply informed from the highs and lows of his recovery journey. Could have heard a pin drop in the room.
Help Portrait 2019 at MaineWorks with Sam Buhlig
Help Portrait 2019 at MaineWorks with Sam Buhlig