As I move between street and MaineWorks what I feel is this:
It is not easy to show up here at the MaineWorks Circle. No one shows up here because it's been easy. No one shows up that isn't fighting a battle on many fronts. Struggles with past. Struggles with present. Struggles with envisioning a future, of having the energy of hope to propel them forward. Because hope is like that. It isn't passive. It requires an energy and when you are exhausted by life and by all that has happened and all you have done and all that the hijacked brain of an addict will do then there's a storm cloud you have to steer through each day. A mad dog gnashing it's teeth at your heels. And I stand next to them. Hear stories that break my heart but not to the degree theirs have been broken. Of lost and painful and sometimes unjust childhoods; of repeated failures and broken promises and the distance one can grow from what we love in the throes of addiction. I stand there and pretty much want to salute those that can show up. Repeatedly. And for those that cannot, who disappear after a week? I hold you in my heart. A welcome mat at the front door to my heart, swept clean each morning. You have taught me that. Thank you Margo Walsh for living this.
He's a new Maineworks employee. I knew I recognized him but I had never photographed him.
Dear Anonymous,
He's a new Maineworks employee.
I knew I recognized him but I had never photographed him. He walks over to me before the MaineWorks Circle and reminds me. There it is. I remember. I know him from the streets. My worlds intersect.
He thanks me, and in doing so thanks Dear Anonymous.
'You kept me alive. I was going to kill myself. Had a plan. But you'd give me a coffee card. Say good morning. I'd sit and have coffee and change my plan. Most mornings that's what made the difference...
I knew I was gonna die if I didn't climb out. I called a friend; got connected to a sober house and got some help with the first month rent which I didn't have. Then they recommended employment at MaineWorks and here I am.'
And he is. He looks great. If not tender and aware that he got out by the skin of his teeth and that his path is tremulous and vulnerable. But he did it. Against all odds. I ask him over and over, 'How did you do it?' How did you find the energy and resources to leap off the street with heroin and alcohol snarling like mad dogs at your heels? It's so difficult.
Ever wonder if a coffee card can save a life? Wonder no more.
Thank you Dear Anonymous.
When asked 'What do YOU do to keep the Wild Beast of Addiction away from you?' the answers fell like a litany of graces
When asked 'What do YOU do to keep the Wild Beast of Addiction away from you?' the answers fell like a litany of graces: They included:
I pray.
I exercise...and pray.
I go to counseling.
I attend NA and AA Meetings.
I read.
I find people to talk to.
I appreciate what I have and remember what it was like NOT having that.
I stay busy.
I make myself stay positive.
I come to this circle.
Keep. Coming.Back.