After officiating an end of life service as an Interfaith Chaplain I often have flowers 'left over'. As caregiver, as shepard of that event I often grow very close to the person who has passed. In this case, I happened to know the woman. And as I released the flowers to the sea at a creeks edge I thanked her again for her beautiful way in the world. And mourned that I was never able to tell her eye to eye that she made a difference in my life and in the life of my child. Thank you Carol. You were, and are, loved by many.
When they asked me 'Is your cup half full?'...
When they asked me 'Is your cup half full?', I suddenly didn't know what to say.
There was a question of scale.
There was a question of scale. Was I to build a dwelling in that cave? Or use it as a toe hold. Go ask, Alice.
Signed.
Signed.
Stripper
Stripper
Western Sky Rainbow
Western Sky Rainbow. That beautiful, fleeting, impossible to hold on to moment before we say, 'It's a rainy day.'
'I'm not lettin' go of my dream...'
Dear Anonymous,
'I'm not lettin' go of my dream to be a homeless advocate. When I was usin' drugs I was no help to ANYONE. I was no help to ME.'
I pause. I consider how hard it is to hold onto a dream when there's a lot going for you, lots of advantages. I pause. I reflect how hard it can be to have ANY dream out here.
He shows up and finds clothing for guys too cold, or too beside themselves to even try. He helps hand out socks. Takes a donated package of combs with him to distribute.
'Buddy, take them hand warmers, you gonna need 'em with the rain comin' in.'
or 'Take this belt. You GOTTA keep them pants up. You don't want no indecent exposure citations.'
As we chat, a wonderful Dear Anonymous stops by with new guitar strings for a friend out here who was playing his 6 string guitar with only four strings. Thank you. That was appreciated....and we took note of that connection.
Mike says something like, 'You know if someone pulls up at the coffee shop and us guys on the street treat him like he's different, like he's not just another guy we ADD to the problem.'
This is Dear Charles.
Dear Anonymous,
This is Dear Charles. A dear hearted man.
He was delighted with a couple of heavy chamois shirts...and ooooo, that coffee card, too. Thanks Dear Anonymous.
Something calls from your eyes.
Dear Anonymous,
Something calls from your eyes. Something deeper than anything you have done. Or not done. Or are doing. Or should be doing. Or any notion of what you shouldn't be doing. Something calls from your eyes that assures me I walk amongst great spirits.
Dear Anonymous, please note he is wearing the brand new hoodie you sent. A layer of warmth. A layer of dignity. Thank you.
Sunday Morning Curiosities
Sunday Morning Curiosities on the corner of Fore Street and Abandoned Halloween Dreams.
Mike was here this morning. Looking pretty swell.
Dear Anonymous,
Mike was here this morning. Looking pretty swell. Struggling with the ins and outs of the methadone clinic but seeming to be continuing with it. Not feeling great. Trying to repair the financial damage from the fall out of his relapse. Making efforts. And that's ....alot.
He chastises the 'boys' around us who are expecting too much and too often, in his mind.
'Them coffee cards are for EMERGENCIES. They ain't for everyday! Don't go expecting them!'
I only have three left and there are 5 people all with hands open. Mike is one of them and stands down, says 'Give one to the woman.', and nods to the one woman amongst us. 'Thats what I was taught...and toss coins for the other two.'
They listen to him. The woman gets a card and two men get cards on a coin flip.
There is never enough. And won't be.
'Use them cards for the winter! Them will save your life someday, some cold night! get's you inside for a half hour....'
He has tobacco and no rolling paper and needs a cigarette.
Dear Anonymous,
He has tobacco and no rolling paper and needs a cigarette. He asks me. I have none. Then he says 'Hey! You haven't taken a picture uh me in a long time.'
We took care of that.
I ask him how he's doing, he says 'Oh, I'm gettin' by.', somewhat sarcastically.
Everybody has a hustle to get by. Some don't want to give up their substance/s of choice to take part of programs available. Some cannot. Some folks do better with their hustle, their story, their charade. Gets them enough to get by.
Someone sent a couple brand new hoodies.
Dear Anonymous,
Someone sent a couple brand new hoodies. One for this guy. Brand new. A layer of warmth. A layer of dignity.
Thank you, Dear Anonymous.
'Does this beach make my butt look big?'
'Does this beach make my butt look big?', Pepper, Rescue Dog and Location Scout on the job.
The last few lines of a stanza from October
The last few lines of a stanza from October
This is how you arrived and left. Quietly. Yet with urgency.
This is how you arrived and left. Quietly. Yet with urgency.
City Scaping down by the Boulevard.
City Scaping down by the Boulevard.
Brian on his four string Takamine.
Dear Anonymous,
Brian on his four string Takamine.
His songs have stayed with me since I heard them yesterday. Looks like we have rustled up some strings for him. Loving how he used the coffee card as a pick. So great to hear him create his music. And his music is full of human stuff. Love. Betrayal. Cut throatedness. And love again.
There's a lot of hurt out here. Old trauma seemingly recreated each day, with each trigger. Substance abuse issues. Mental health issues. Everyones' hustle for what they need to get through the day. Some able to access services. Some not. Some able to climb off the streets. Some not able or motivated to climb anywhere.Some that disappear and I think the worse. Sometimes they show back up, with a smile.
And I would find you...
And I would find you, the perfect dose of whatever you are. This moment becoming the perfect medicine.
He arrives swinging his 4 string Takamine.
Dear Anonymous,
He arrives swinging his 4 string Takamine. 'Who needs six strings?', he says. And begins to serenade us on the street. He is singing to friend Pastor Jeff, Jeffery Logan, who is a beacon of hope and humanity for so many out here. The songs are all original...his own work, lyrics and melody. When I hand him a coffee card it doubles as a pick as he belts out Jailhouse Wife, a song so catchy it's repeated in a loop in my brain ever since.
Sleeping bags are still in demand. Large hooded sweatshirts, any thermal shirts. Pants, jeans or workpants,not chinos or dress pants. The list goes on. Backpacks , sturdy ones, in demand. Everything is being stolen. A regular says 'This week. TWO backpacks stolen...'. He is an old timer to the street. He is dismayed and raises his swollen hand with two thick fingers to make his point. Socks, warm socks remain a treasure. Thank you Dear Anonymous, they thank me and they are really thanking you.
One man I have never met before stops his frantic behavior for a moment, pauses as he is trying to shove items into a backpack,stops and says, 'Thank you. This really helps.' Direct eye contact.