And when the camera came out so briefly and he stood on the other end of my car and said...

 
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Dear Anonymous,

And when the camera came out so briefly and he stood on the other end of my car and said 'Take a picture of me!' with such enthusiasm I was caught off guard. I zoom in and he opens himself up into this smile. Without self consciousness.
And off he went, coffeecake in hand and a pair of socks tucked into his pocket.

'Take a picture of ME!'
See me.
I am here.
I am.
Here.

From a distance. A world upended. Bus schedules changing. Caseworkers availability...

 
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Dear Anonymous,

From a distance. A world upended. Bus schedules changing. Caseworkers availability changing. Court dates changing. A general hunger for contact. The same stories of stolen backpacks and lost gear. Things left here. And there. How did we all get here. How do we stay. Some have left like an electron skipping into another orbit and they disappear. I wonder where they all are. I hear from some. Struggling with depression and anxiety and their affection for drugs that help quell those demons. And on we go. Walking one another home from 6' away. But still walking.

Drive by birthday wish for Mike this morning. Complete with brownies and coffee cake handed over to share...

 
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Dear Anonymous,

Drive by birthday wish for Mike this morning. Complete with brownies and coffee cake handed over to share, badass bandana masks for the crew and coffee cards. (and this image from a zoom lens)
The mood was sour at first, filled with his frustration that an incentive check had not arrived in his account, but turned lighter as I read him his birthday well wishes that many of you left here yesterday. He smiled as I shouted out the messages and he nodded his head with each. Thank you.

Oh dear, and now Alden Andrews arrives in my memory box. Damn. See Alden? You are still with us in this way.

 
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Oh dear, and now Alden Andrews arrives in my memory box. Damn. See Alden? You are still with us in this way.

Memory from April 17th, 2017 with Margo Walsh and Alden Andrews at MaineWorks:

How often do we want to turn away, turn off, disappear from whatever the daily dilemma is...the daily disorder, the daily grind, the daily drama,the daily struggle? Embracing the struggle can feel as attractive as wrestling with a hair shirt. How to be in the world against all odds.

Timely message for me two years later.

 
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Timely message for me two years later.

Memory from April 17th, 2018, with Justin Downey and Margo Walsh at MaineWorks:

What will we build when everything we know has been torn down, when we recognize we cannot just rebuild what has been...because that didn't serve us well. How do we put the bricks back in a different way?

To read an April 2020 interview with Justin Downey, please see https://www.joannearnold.com/posts/have-you-heard-sheltering-in-place-referred-to-as-solitary-might-want-to-read-this and https://www.joannearnold.com/posts/follow-up-to-april-2020-interview-with-justin-downey

Another excerpt from TRANSIENCE by Kenneth W Beek:

 
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Another excerpt from TRANSIENCE by Kenneth W Beek.

'The meeting with my new caseworker might have lasted an hour, which left three hours to kill before dinner. I sat and read. I was reading Nietzsche’s ​Beyond Good and Evil​ at the time. That’s a heavy book, especially when you’re reading it in a crowd of crazy people.

That may seem like an insensitive thing to say, but it would be far more insensitive to pretend it isn’t so. There were hordes of people yelling, arguing, fighting. This is the perpetual Preble Street scene. About every five minutes someone is robbed and every half hour or so you see somebody assaulted. I’ve seen people hit with bricks, boards, canes, bottles, bags; I’ve seen shootings and stabbings, seizures, suicides, OD’s, heart attacks, bad trips, people lit on fire, people pissing and shitting and fucking right on and around the galvanized benches in the resource center’s courtyard.'

Truth teller. Writer. Witness. Thank you Kenneth W Beek.
Here's a link to his book:

https://mainernews.com/transcience/
A friend of Kenny's. 

Keen insights. An expansive heart.

 
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This is Kenneth W Beek who I met on the streets years ago. He is one of the reasons I kept going back. Because he had a lot to offer. Keen insights. An expansive heart.
He told me on this day, slurring his words 'I'm not on the streets because I drink. I drink because I'm on the streets.' And, this IS his truth. He is currently housed and does not drink.
He has written a book that's available online and I am attaching a link and hoping some of you will take a look. It is extensive and articulate.This is a comment he wrote this morning in response to a post:
'It's difficult to know how you will react or behave in the most extreme situations, even when consequences can be severe. That's what I was attempting to portray, that and also how most of the people I encountered in my life on the streets maintained what can really only be described as honor and integrity, a reasonable moral code. Those were two very important pieces of the story for me.'
Please consider reading his book TRANSIENCE: Chapters from an epic memoir about homeless existence in Portland, Maine. The link to TRANSIENCE is pasted below. Free.
Congratulations, Kenneth W Beek.

Note: A quotation from Kenneth regarding the book: 'I did write the book (and a whole lot more) in a beat up and discarded cell phone with a broken screen and no internet connection.'
A whole lot of us gotta' get busy and drop the sniveling excuses. ( me )

https://mainernews.com/transcience/

Moose Elkins continues to make our world a better place to live in. Thank you, Moose.

 
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Moose Elkins continues to make our world a better place to live in.
Thank you, Moose.

Memory from April 6th 2018

Making His Way. Reaching out for our dreams sounds so friggin' romantic, as if our pursuit for what we want is animated by little cherubs dropping rose petals on a path accompanied by unicorns and dancing kittens. But it is not. It is often sluggishly difficult day by day work marked by desperation that helps build the fraction of momentum, the tiniest traction to avoid being pulled back into the the hole we are so familiar with. Just enough forward motion to show up. Again. And again. I applaud this circle of employees who have made it through the winter. Fought the demons that line that path of an unformed dream for something better. Cheers to the Pioneers of Recovery, searching for the next toehold.