I dream of a newborn needing to be fed. And when I take her in my arms her face appears like a felted delphinium bud and I am so confused. She must be fed.
When a female human is born she is born with all the egg cells she'll ever have...
When a female human is born she is born with all the egg cells she'll ever have. Which means the mother of that female human gives birth to the cells that can become her grandchildren. I know this is no mystery in many cultures. I know. But it was never once thought of in my own. And that reality changes everything for me.
They met this way.
They met this way.
Clematiscized
Clematiscized
Impossible for me to walk by without touching. My bad. Lambs' Ear Blossom.
Impossible for me to walk by without touching. My bad. Lambs' Ear Blossom.
In Times of Bitter Storytelling by David Lash
When I came across a certain blossom this morning the words of a friend spoke into my hearts' ear. And I am learning to listen. Thank you David Lash for your wisdom.
In Times of Bitter Storytelling by David Lash
It's a brief season made briefer by our house being on fire.
It's a brief season made briefer by our house being on fire.
What were the odds, swee'pea?
What were the odds, swee'pea?
I didn't expect to disturb her as she walked out, her hair up in a towel.
I didn't expect to disturb her as she walked out, her hair up in a towel.
I will remove the color so I can see your impossible structure because if I touch you, you will come undone. Literally.
I will remove the color so I can see your impossible structure because if I touch you, you will come undone. Literally.
These are the fallen flowers of a black locust tree in my neighborhood...
These are the fallen flowers of a black locust tree in my neighborhood. These trees appear as towering long limbed arabesque dancers. This makes it clear I am not a science writer.
Anyway, it is native to northeastern latitudes and grows well on degraded soil contributing to soil fertility by partnering with a bacteria to fix nitrogen. What a relationship.
It's sweet flowers are sought after by pollinators.
Its timber can remain rot free for a century.
In my neighborhood. Have walked by this grove of trees for literally 40 years.
Thank you Anne Madden, for opening my eyes and mind to these complex microbial relationships right before my eyes.
Peonized
Peonized
It is a solid forty degrees cooler than 2 days ago here on the Coast of Maine...
It is a solid forty degrees cooler than 2 days ago here on the Coast of Maine. The relief is palpable. Plants sip up what they can, reserve what they may and offer a chance to carry on.
This is George, the Greenhouse Cat...
This is George, the Greenhouse Cat. This morning George is INSIDE. And is equally disgusted with me that I can not let him OUT. It is about the same disgust he exhibited yesterday when he wanted me to let him IN. We know this about cats. And I love George. My thighs, in my running tights, were somewhat relieved his claws were being sharpened on the OTHER side of this door.
And you would hold me.
And you would hold me.
This is George the Greenhouse cat. He is grumpy, perhaps incensed, as he recognizes once again...
This is George the Greenhouse cat. He is grumpy, perhaps incensed, as he recognizes once again, my inability to open the damn locked door for him. His ticket to coolness, water and breakfast. This morning he digs his claws into my thigh. A love tap no doubt. I discover running tights are no barrier to his 'affection'. My response, immediate and vocal, made it very clear that I was a lost cause in George's attempt to persuade me.
I pray that I never walk by you anymore. Which I have for over 6 decades...
I pray that I never walk by you anymore. Which I have for over 6 decades. Busy with this. Or that. I hear the chatter that justifies all this. But I cease listening to it.
To those of you I know out here who have struggled with their fatherdom...
To those of you I know out here who have struggled with their fatherdom. Who have not been present to their children due to substance abuse, mental health issues, because sometimes you were initially broken by your own father...who was likely broken. Or had no father. Or no model for what it might be to be a man you now want to be. A lineage of broken hearts. Cheers to those I know out here who have been able to rekindle relationships with their children and those reshaping what it is to be a fathers child. Who have rebuilt relationships as you rebuild who you are and what you can be to others. Prayers to you who want to leave a legacy for your children, the children who have dismissed you or will not recognize you, so hurt are they. Keep. Going. I pray you continue your work on yourselves, the greatest gift you can offer your child ...and us. We see you and hold you in our hearts. And for those that have been hurt by your father, in all the ways humans hurt vulnerable humans, I open my heart to that pain and pray for you, a life in love. Regardless.
sometimes just best to shut tf up.
sometimes just best to shut tf up.
The Unexpected Face of Bee Balm
I had never taken the time to look you in the face all these years. I mean really look.
The Unexpected Face of Bee Balm