When a female human is born she is born with all the egg cells she'll ever have...

 
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When a female human is born she is born with all the egg cells she'll ever have. Which means the mother of that female human gives birth to the cells that can become her grandchildren. I know this is no mystery in many cultures. I know. But it was never once thought of in my own. And that reality changes everything for me. 

The coffeecake is long since gone. But now he sits in the sun not entirely happy...

 
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Dear Anonymous,

The coffeecake is long since gone. But now he sits in the sun not entirely happy I have my camera out. But he is kind. Tells me about baking berry crisps. He has his standards as a baker and my coffecake has made it through the gauntlet. He recognizes the flavor of unsalted butter. He recognizes the favored 'crumb'. Tells me he had brought me a package of blackberries but someone swiped them. Tells me he only drinks on days ending with y. Tells me the last time he 'dressed up' was at his partner's funeral.

He wears the hat offered by you this winter. A fleece sweatshirt too...

 
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Dear Anonymous,
He wears the hat offered by you this winter. A fleece sweatshirt too that had been handed to him about that same time. He has managed to hold onto them. Nothing short of a miracle out here. I notice. He smiles.
And socks are distributed and there are not enough coffee cards but they eye the stack of clean and beautifully folded tshirts. And they settle. And they choose. And there is dignity in the offer (thank you Dear Anonymous) and there is dignity in the receiving.
Just that. That's all. And that is a lot.
And he stays by so I may photograph and I am so taken by his eyes that I fumble with my camera. Is it on? Oh, settings? Is it focusing? All the while those eyes...

I have met extraordinary young men in recovery. Men who literally shine in the world...

 
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Dear Anonymous,
I have met extraordinary young men in recovery. Men who literally shine in the world as people, employees, sons, fathers,husbands,friends. Men I respect, admire and am proud are in this world, holding it, as I get older and older.
The same men were often in this kind of place. Disenfranchised. Addicted. Overwhelmed. Struggling with self worth. Struggling with sanity. Struggling with who they are. Struggling with what they have lost. Struggling with the daily hustle, mental health and the extreme siren call of heroin, or alcohol, or meth or whatever. The same heart that I see in them now was in them then. Only there was more journey to journey. And each of them carries their own story.
Not going to pretend everyone will experience stunning and dramatic 'recoveries' or even anything we might label 'recovery', but the point is...we don't know. I certainly don't.

Thirsty? Here's water.
Need a coffee? Gotcha' covered.

And this is not necessarily the story of this particular young man. But I can say each day he waits politely until everyone leaves, tries to hustle a second coffee card and when I turn him down with a smile acknowledging his solid attempt, he smiles back. A slightly wicked and sweet smile and says 'Love ya'.'

The card that Mike received as part of a gift after a weekend when he overdosed...

 
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Dear Anonymous,

The card that Mike received as part of a gift after a weekend when he overdosed and was good as dead had no one intervened with Narcan. He is hanging onto it. Closely.
Says it helps him.He is grateful for it, thank you Dear Anonymous.

In a world where a policeman came through and said,
'I'm sick of all your needles. I'm sick of all you addicts. You should all die.'
When this is what is said out loud to you.
Mike is clear this is not ALL police.
Not at all. And he was very clear about this.

But words can cut like knives.
Homeless. Not heartless.